Living with the Dominator

Product Information

The programme usually lasts for 11 or 12 weeks and is FREE. It provided by hundreds of agencies across the UK. Some of them are rolling so women can join at any time but this varies according to local needs, etc. This is now available with the supplementary work book ‘The Freedom Programme Home Study Course’. This workbook makes the Freedom Programme even more accessible." One of our facilitators has been playing one of the animations to the women on her programme every week at the end of each session. Another uses them at the beginning as a 'warm up' to help to make the session run smoothly. Another of our facilitators uses them for her Freedom Programme for women with learning disabilities. The Freedom Programme Home Study Course’. This workbook makes the Freedom Programme even more accessible, If we look at this cycle, we can see that at no point is The Dominator actually angry or out of control. He is choosing his behaviour and is in total control of what he is doing and saying!

I listened to everything they said and became determined to impart this information to the people who had no understanding of such violence. This included other ‘professionals’ and the women and girls whose lives could be changed or even saved if they were just given this vital information. However I am very much not in a violent relationship so that wasn’t the purpose I was reading this for. I was raised in a violent home and was a victim of the abuse mentioned in this book as a child. I am now a 29 year old woman suffering the consequences and have struggled my whole life with anxiety, low self esteem and feelings of guilt and shame.I am trying to understand what happened in my childhood and was recommended this book to understand how my parents relationship may have impacted on me. A woman should provide services and act as an unpaid servant’ – does nothing around the house to help, Burn everything he cooks.Women are accused of ‘breaking the rules’. we may say ‘NO’!. We may say we are leaving. We refuse to have sex. We go to work. We make friends and go out to see them. It is worth pointing out that women do not actually know what the ‘rules’ are. They change constantly and what we think is a rule, ends up not being a rule. We don’t know what the right thing to say or do is and when we think we have worked it out, we are still wrong – hence the saying ‘Walking on eggshells’! A woman should never be allowed to leave or end a relationship, no matter how abusive or violent it is’ – says he loves us, threatens suicide. I initially wrote the ‘Freedom Programme’ to educate women, girls, men and boys. Then in 2008 I published ‘Living with the Dominator’. I wanted to reach everyone who was unable to attend a Freedom Programme.

To help women understand the beliefs held by abusive men and in so doing, recognise which of these beliefs they have shared Women should be responsible for all childcare’ – moans when he has to ‘babysit’! Threatens to take the children away.Women should believe and accept all the excuses he gives us for his abuse’ – uses the ‘only’ word! It was ‘only’ a slap, blames drink, stress, YOU!

I am the author Pat Craven. When I was a Probation Officer I ran courses for male 'perpetrators’ of violence against women and children. For two years I sat among groups of men who had injured, raped or killed their victims. I realised that abusive men use a range of tactics to control women. I may be unfairly rating this book a 3 star but I think that’s because I was reading this from a slightly different perspective. From an unbiased perspective, this is an incredibly important and useful book and should be read by all women starting from college age so that they can avoid relationships with abusive men. I recognise a lot of characteristics of abusive men in this book that were present in men I have dated in the past- and I found that disturbing. I published ‘Living with the Dominator’. I wanted to reach everyone who was unable to attend a Freedom Programme. The Programme was primarily designed for women as victims of domestic violence, since research shows that in the vast majority of cases of serious abuse are male on female. I also realised that abusive men do not understand their own behaviour. They do not realise that they decide to use violence when they realise that their other tactics are failing.perpetrators’ of violence against women and children. For two years I sat among groups of men who had injured, raped or killed their victims. I realised that abusive men use a range of tactics to control women A woman should never be allowed to leave or end a relationship, no matter how abusive or violent it is. If The Dominator wishes to change his behaviour, he needs to change his beliefs about women. He needs to change the RULES OF THE GAME!